Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Why I run

I used to be a runner. I looked forward to my long runs on the weekend, and they could last several hours. I loved it. But the reason that I started was to get away from my roommates. I had a roommate that I absolutely couldn't stand, we were just fundamentally different. So I took up running after we would come back from our daily routine. At first that's all it was, time away from everyone else. When you work and live and spend your entire day with the same people it's nice to have some time to get away. So I ran. And eventually my short runs turned into longer ones, and the short ones got easier.

Then we finished our school and got assigned to different units. I moved in with roommates that I actually liked, and for a short time I stopped running. After a couple of weeks I realized that something was missing, so I started running again. It became a type of meditation for me. Throughout the whole day my mind is constantly running and analyzing things, and running is the 30 minutes to 2 hours a day that I could stop thinking. Or at least think minimally. Breathing? check. Legs moving? check. Heart beating? check. Uh-oh, here comes a hill. Still breathing? check. Legs still moving? check. Heart still beating? check. Repeat until finished.

Then I became known as a runner. It was part of my identity. People would ask me for advice on how to get better or faster and I would help them. It was a part of me. Then along came the hernia, and my hatred of doctors. Combine the two and I kept running through the pain until it got to where I couldn't run anymore. I kept losing fitness until I finally got to the point where I had to go to the doctor, and they recommended surgery. So I got it fixed, but it was another month until I could run again. And about that time I went and spent six weeks or so out in the field doing training for a deployment, and didn't have time to run. My fitness continued to decline. Then came the deployment, and saying that it was a high operational tempo deployment wouldn't do it justice, we barely got time to sleep, let alone spend time running.

Then I got out of the Marine Corps, and I was exhausted. Physically, mentally, the four and a half years really took it's toll on me. And I didn't run for almost a year. Finally a few months ago I started again. It's almost depressing to go from being able to run for hours to only being able to run for a half hour or so.

So now I'm running, again I started to get away from roommates and coworkers, but this time I have a problem. They run with me. It's the first time that I've ever had running partners, and it's weird. They're competitive and loud and it's so much the opposite of the peace and quiet that I'm seeking I don't know how to handle it. So now I'm starting to run farther, or slower, just so I can get time alone. It's still entertaining, but in a different way. I'm expecting them to not stay running with me for too long though. I give it a week or two and they'll stop running with me. If they don't then I don't know what I will do.


Jen - The Secret Keeper said...

Ok, so now I'm here I'm confused why you're reading the High Heel Diaries??? Something you want to tell me? Hehe x

Jen - The Secret Keeper said...

Hey slacker, you have no email address listed anywhere! why do your posts keep disappearing?? x